Screen Time for July 24 by uncdiversions
July 24, 2009, 6:04 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Hollywood has exhausted its entertainment resources for a while after the release of the latest Harry Potter, and the Chelsea isn’t bringing in a new movie until July 31, so movie-going in Chapel Hill will be slowing down for a couple of weeks. I’ll be avoiding the multiplex myself, as I have no desire to watch Gerard Butler fake an American accent in “The Ugly Truth,” or 3-D hamsters save the world in “G-Force,” but I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to take a couple of pot-shots.

G-Force” (Wide Release):

-You know a movie is disposable crap when its calling card isn’t the authority of the director or the talent of the writers and actors, but the glitz of the producer. No one knows this movie, which will surely be low-grade entertainment with few if any redeeming qualities that must be force-fed to kids so that they won’t know the difference between good kids movies and total shit (inhale, deep breath), as the work of Hoyt Yeatman, but as the money-mill of Jerry Bruckheimer. Bruckheimer is of course the man who produced the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, but he’s also the asshole who brought you Armageddon (along with the directorial counterpart to his unimaginative style, Michael Bay), and Kangaroo Jack. Enough said.

-Even the voices and personas of talented actors like Bill Nighy, Penelope Cruz and Steve Buscemi can’t save a plot that appears to be the long lost bastard child of “Cats & Dogs” and “Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH.”

The Ugly Truth” (Wide Release):

-Gerard Butler as a male chauvinist playing the devil’s advocate for love? The poor man’s been typecast as a chauvinist across genres, tied together only by how one-dimensional they are: from homoerotic Spartan man-fest action movies to pansy sitcoms.

By Diversions Staff Writer Jonathan Pattishall


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